Wednesday, June 18, 2014

...What's That Saying About Good Intentions...

Two words.  Potty Training.  Let's make it three words.  Potty Training Twins.

Are you laughing at me yet?  If not, you will be after I describe Take 1 (yeah, there will be multiple takes of this...multiples seem to be our thing):

Scott and I have been reading up about different ways to potty train toddlers, especially ways to potty train toddler twins.  It seems that there are basically two schools of thought on potty training.  You're either going to take your time and ease your children into using the potty or you're going to be hard-core and get it done between 1-3 days (depending on the level of insanity that you're willing to impose on your children).  As far as the differences between singletons and twins, everything that we read said to avoid doing anything that will visualize their differences, like sticker charts.

So, Scott and I decided to try the three day potty training method.  On day 1 you are supposed to remove their diaper as soon as they wake up, refrain from putting pants on them, and basically stalk them with a potty waiting for them to pee or poop.  No pants, no diapers (except for naps and night time), no leaving the house.  Every time they get something in the potty it counts as a hit.  After around 12 hits they should understand the purpose of the potty.  Day two is the same, but you should plan a one-hour outing for the kids.  Have them use the potty before leaving the house, and put loose bottoms on them.  Day three is the same, but you should have two one-hour outings.  From then on, the kids shouldn't wear underwear for approximately three months, since they feel similar to diapers.

Here's how day 1 went:

Neil and Lizzie woke up around 8:00.  I went in, removed diapers, and had them both sit on the potty.  Nothing.  Scott and I put shirts on them, rolled up the rug in the living room, and took them and their potties downstairs.  Scott grabbed towels and cleaning supplies.  We gave the kids breakfast, and stared at them.  Nothing.  I gave them a second drink, and they ran around and played while we continued to stare at them and stalk them with their potties.  Nothing.  We kept asking them if they wanted to sit on the potty, or would put them on the potty, but still...nothing.

So here we are, stressing about rogue pee-ers.  Scott is so nervous that he's either pacing, or walking two inches behind a kid with a potty aimed at butt-level.  I'm trying to reman calm, but I keep asking the poor kids if they need to pee, or want to sit on the potty.  If someone was doing that to me, I'd probably knock them out!  Poor kids.

At 9:30 Lizzie peed a little bit... on the floor.  Scott swore, and put her on the potty.  Nothing.  As he grabbed a towel to clean up Neil peed...in the corner of the fireplace.  Thank goodness we didn't have anything in there!  About ten minutes later they both peed...on opposite ends of the dining room.  That time, I swore.  We kept trying to get them to get a hit in the potty.  Lizzie did get one hit, but I'm pretty sure that it was from the pee running down her leg.  Around 10:30 Neil sat on the potty for about 5 minutes, then got up and peed on the baby gate by the kitchen.  I put them both on the potty, and Neil actually peed in his!  Lizzie screamed "Ouch!  Ouch!  Ouch!" while literally no one was touching her.  At this point, I'm getting flustered, sweaty, and I realize that I need to pee!  As I tried to calm Lizzie down Neil got off of the potty, walked over to play with his cars and pooped on the floor.  We both swore at that one, cleaned him up, and he ran over to the exact same spot and did it again.

So here we are, not even three hours into this, and we're dealing with Lizzie, who is flat out refusing to sit on the potty, and Neil, who has diarrhea.  Now you can see why I called this Take 1.

Back to diapers for a few days...

RMH 6/18/14